Grateful for space....


I am 54 and my daughter is 35 and we share a small bedroom in a tiny house that a friend is renting and letting us live rent free.  SO much to be grateful for in that sentence, but my human arrogance and bad attitudes are always longing for a room of my own where I can shut the door and just be by myself when I want to.  A place to study and cultivate my inner peace.  Just some space to myself and for myself.  The apartment I used to live in, when I was working a very good job with great benefits and only 2 miles away from where I was living, was in a very busy part of the city.  We weren’t far from the police and fire station and close to the main route to a hospital nearby so we were always hearing sirens, alarms, dogs barking, etc.  My sliding glass door was about 20 feet from the busy street where all this traffic went by.  Somehow I got used to the all the noise and sirens being just a few feet away, but now I cannot imagine it as I reflect back on this time in my life.  And this was in 2014, just three short years ago.

Today, I live in the desert, one of my least favorite places, outside a small town and with very limited resources.  Adding this to the shared room, and a very challenging house set up, it is easy to be discontent.  But at 6:30 this morning, as I was enjoying the peace and quiet sitting outside on the porch and looking at the view, I was reminded that God knows what is best for me and I will sorely miss the peace of living outside of town in such a quiet area.  We live off of a dirt road and there are no city lights so you can see the stars.  There are wild rabbits, hares, coyotes, snakes and we wake up to donkeys braying and roosters crowing and peacocks making their unique sounds and so many types of birds!!  And I have a porch.  I knew I have always wanted one, but now I’ve been able to enjoy one for two years.  After making coffee and feeding the pets, I sit on this porch every morning -even when it’s 19 degrees and I’m all bundled up – and I read my Bible and devotionals, drinking my coffee, and strengthening myself for the day and reminding myself to focus on what is really important in life.  That definition is not always easy to see.

So today, I thank God for the space that I have been provided and the peace that comes with it.