It is so important to really learn and understand who yourself first. It is also an endless journey. Once you begin a deeper understanding of yourself, you can more easily have compassion for yourself and grow into the person you want to be, without judgment and blame, but with acceptance and appreciation for who you are created to be. But this is often a daunting task and people usually ask, “Where do I even begin?” While that will be a different answer for everyone, I think one good place to start could be by realizing that everything we do, we do to meet a need. Once you have an idea what your needs are, you can discover why these needs exist. There is a void in our lives that creates the need, and then we seek to fill it.
Another beneficial way to use this perspective is to observe the actions of others –whether positive or negative. They are also acting out of their own needs. If you can understand them better, you can have compassion for them instead of being angry, frustrated , or impatient with them.
But this calls upon us to be mindful and present and not REact automatically to the actions of others. Find space to pause and examine the situation without judgment or prejudices and see it from the other person’s perspective. Then we can be PROactive and communicate more positively.
We all have needs. We all react to words and events around us differently. So instead of focusing on judging and blaming or defending, if we focus on needs, we find the common ground for understanding all people.